Hola! It is me the charming Chihuahua who lives with the Hunts!
I have succeeded once again in outsmarting Alan and that overbearing mate of his Brooke in order to post on the blog. Brooke is always forcing me to cuddle with her and kiss her face and do tricks for crappy chicken flavored treats…yuck. Last time we spoke was shortly after the Hunts moved me from my comfortable home in Minneapolis to this overcrowded NYC. And since the Hunts are at work right now I thought I would sneak on and write to all of you, my followers.
Its spring here and I love it. I hate the cold! I weight around 10 pounds so 5 minutes in 20 degree weather pisses me off. Plus, I have terrible aim and when I squat to pee I sometimes hit one of my feet and then my pee freezes to my paw and my walk is shot from there. I also love the spring because it gives me lots of green to pee and poop on. I hated doing my busi-nasty on snow. I am starting to get better at barking at small children, other dogs and strangers on the street. Alan and Brook do this wonderful thing where they distract me with a treat every time I look like I’m going to bark or try to chase anything. It’s so mean but I love getting the treats.
So there’s this big dog in our apartment building his name is Teo or something stupid like that. Who names their dog Teo? I really don’t like him because one day this past fall I was feeling like a bad ass and I took him on. I was off my leash and I ran right at him, jumped at him and I bit onto his neck and just hung there for a few seconds. Now remember I am 10 pounds and he is like 75 pounds. I lost my grip and fell down. After I hit the ground Teo looked down at me like he was really pissed. So He picked me up in his mouth and shook me a few times and threw me against the tree we were next too. What a jerk right?!?!? I was just playing around and he had to go and get all serious on me. So since then I have hated him. Alan and Brooke hate that I hate him cause we see him almost everyday.
My cousin Penny (Chad and Nicci’s dog) are getting along fine. Penny has showed me how to retrieve underwear from the clothes hamper and I have shown her how to be really disobedient with her parents. We play off of each other and it drives all of them mad. Penny and I still wrestle all the time. Sometimes Penny gets sick of it and starts whining like a little sissy but I still run at her and chew on her face…I know she loves it.
This last week I had to put up with this cat that lived in our house because a friends needed them to take care of it. His name was Avocado and he is a big black cat. He sure as heck didn’t taste like an Avocado. He tasted more like a chunk of fur that smelt like cat. I tried to bully him around but crap are cats fast. It was like one second he was there and the next he was gone! I don’t know what kinda magic they work but it must be the stupid kind cause it was dumb.
Anyway, I have only gotten like 16 hours of sleep today so I think I’m going to get back to my blanket on the couch and rest up for when Alan and Brooke get home and I can act super hyper and excited to see them. Really I just wanna make them feel relevant. They are so easily fooled.
I have succeeded once again in outsmarting Alan and that overbearing mate of his Brooke in order to post on the blog. Brooke is always forcing me to cuddle with her and kiss her face and do tricks for crappy chicken flavored treats…yuck. Last time we spoke was shortly after the Hunts moved me from my comfortable home in Minneapolis to this overcrowded NYC. And since the Hunts are at work right now I thought I would sneak on and write to all of you, my followers.
Its spring here and I love it. I hate the cold! I weight around 10 pounds so 5 minutes in 20 degree weather pisses me off. Plus, I have terrible aim and when I squat to pee I sometimes hit one of my feet and then my pee freezes to my paw and my walk is shot from there. I also love the spring because it gives me lots of green to pee and poop on. I hated doing my busi-nasty on snow. I am starting to get better at barking at small children, other dogs and strangers on the street. Alan and Brook do this wonderful thing where they distract me with a treat every time I look like I’m going to bark or try to chase anything. It’s so mean but I love getting the treats.
So there’s this big dog in our apartment building his name is Teo or something stupid like that. Who names their dog Teo? I really don’t like him because one day this past fall I was feeling like a bad ass and I took him on. I was off my leash and I ran right at him, jumped at him and I bit onto his neck and just hung there for a few seconds. Now remember I am 10 pounds and he is like 75 pounds. I lost my grip and fell down. After I hit the ground Teo looked down at me like he was really pissed. So He picked me up in his mouth and shook me a few times and threw me against the tree we were next too. What a jerk right?!?!? I was just playing around and he had to go and get all serious on me. So since then I have hated him. Alan and Brooke hate that I hate him cause we see him almost everyday.
My cousin Penny (Chad and Nicci’s dog) are getting along fine. Penny has showed me how to retrieve underwear from the clothes hamper and I have shown her how to be really disobedient with her parents. We play off of each other and it drives all of them mad. Penny and I still wrestle all the time. Sometimes Penny gets sick of it and starts whining like a little sissy but I still run at her and chew on her face…I know she loves it.
This last week I had to put up with this cat that lived in our house because a friends needed them to take care of it. His name was Avocado and he is a big black cat. He sure as heck didn’t taste like an Avocado. He tasted more like a chunk of fur that smelt like cat. I tried to bully him around but crap are cats fast. It was like one second he was there and the next he was gone! I don’t know what kinda magic they work but it must be the stupid kind cause it was dumb.
Anyway, I have only gotten like 16 hours of sleep today so I think I’m going to get back to my blanket on the couch and rest up for when Alan and Brooke get home and I can act super hyper and excited to see them. Really I just wanna make them feel relevant. They are so easily fooled.
Adios!
Love Sgt
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2 comments:
Dear Sarge,
I do love the underwear, you're right. Thanks for helping me dig through my mommy and daddy's laundry basket.
Love,
Penny
I wish we had a big black lab rottweiler to play with Sarge and Penny. Well, that might be odd... maybe Bets, Jas and I will have black lab pups who are conniving buddies. I am so ready to live in a place that allows dogs!
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